Today while reading Dr Mike Ekimks' latest paper Pax Pax Weinlandum, Professor Ekimks disclosed for examination a new memo composed by Ronald Weinland -- Author of "The Prophesied End-Time" & "2008 God's Final Witness" which Weinland had posted on his ronaldweinland.com web site today. Here is an excerpt from profiteer Weinland's latest sorcery:
"Not only is God altering the time sequence of end-time events (not the return of Jesus Christ) by shortening the actual time of man’s suffering,..."
What I have discovered from my examination of Professor Mike's discovery, is the
It's obvious that God Almighty has not been cooperating with self-appointed prophet Ronald Weinland. All the prophecy, predictions, and deceptions announced by Ronald have failed to materialize. Ron's game plan will be ammended to please the crowd, because Ron is not afraid of Jesus manifesting any judgment against him.
Mister Weinland will have to pull all his tricks out of his hat this time. He will ensure that those under his spell continue to ignore those nagging feelings in the back of their mind; that this guy is a magician who has them mesmerized in a pay per use stage production of:
Captain Delusion's Voyage Aboard the Ship -- BLASPHEMY
P.S. -- When Ron used the word "shortening", he wasn't talking about Crisco. He will probably be using a cleaned, dressed, and boned out version of Mark 13:20
As for the picture of the Stoning of Stephen, I don't imagine Ron as one of the ones doing the stoning. I imagine he would be the one in the crowd, humbly watching what he had just instigated.
7 comments:
The only place Dill Weed, Jr likes shortening is in cookies or short bread because everyone know you can't have short bread without shortening. : D
Dill Weed
"Captain Delusion's Voyage Aboard the Ship -- BLASPHEMY"
I see you're able to compete with Dill Weed for a laugh. Well, laugh I did.
I love shortbread cookies. Even though shortbread cookies are perceived by dieters as evil, they are not. Cookies cannot be evil just because they contain shortening.
However, the shortening that is going to come out of Ron's mouth is evil. Ron's "shortening" is just another lie to cover a previous lie, to cover another previous lie, to cover a ....... he really should sit down and read the bible some day. I think he would be shocked at the glaring differences between what is written in the NT, and the fantasies in his deluded mind.
Luc, I think The Blasphemy is an appropriate name for Ron's ship. If he is not a blasphemer, then the ship should at least be called the Deceptor.
It is funny, but fitting.
I imagine he would be the one in the crowd, humbly watching what he had just instigated. (Stoning of Stephen)
In like manner, Ronald Weinland would be the one yelling "Crucify! Crucify!" at the front of the crowd gathered before Pontius Pilate. He also would have been the one commanding that Jesus be struck on the mouth for blasphemy.
These are the types of people who "preach" to us. I wonder if there is a single person on earth who is really preaching the gospel.
The only place we will hear the gospel of Jesus Christ is in the New Testament.
Yum num yum shortbread cookies.....
I'm sorry, what were we talking about? Oh, right, Rotten Ron.
Nah, I think I'll stick with thinking about shortbread cookies.
Yes Purple,
If you think about shortbread cookies, you will be happy. Shortbread cookies are real, you can touch them, you can taste them, and people know they are real when you talk about them.
The "shortening" Ron is going to talk about is not real, you cannot see it, touch it, or have people understand what it is, because it's not real. It is invisible and non existent. It is the twisted lie of a deluded sociopath.
So, shortbread cookie made with shortening anyone? Or would you rather have Ron's "shortening" which tastes like........poverty sprinkled with guilt.
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